Still thinking ...

Standing right in front of me, looks around and grins at me
and walks away...
just like your shadow that fades away

I thought he always noticed me but it was just another dream
i fall of my bed...
messing my hair to clear my brain

Ive known you all along, I am crazy for you
anonymous letters and flowers for you
hoping that one day you will know...

I am the kind of girl you've always known
The one with you want to grow old
I touch your hair as i brush past you..
And you should know
that i love you..

No Idea!

Sometimes you don't realize that you hurt me
Sometimes I feel you blind yourself from truth
I don't show you my true feelings
I give a faint smile even though I am bleeding.

I like you not for your rightness
for every evil in you turns innocent
I will forgive you a million times
but not let go even for a thousand dimes.

Ive fallen a lot of times, felt handicapped
the courage you gave me will always be on my mind
for every hug you gave me after cold vibes
 make me forget the things of past time.

You are the earthly angel
who I feel will fly away!
but till that time...
I will have my way.

conversations...

I sat on the staircase. The afternoon light penetrated through the walls of the building just above my head. I sat there silently... lost in my thoughts . Thats when someone said "Hey!" I looked up to give a glare, but resisted, as I found Neha smiling wide at me. She sat next to me and asked, " so what have you thought.?" I still wasn't sure of what answer to give. I wanted to say "yes" but still was not entirely convinced by the whole idea. So i told her instead "I need more time to think.I am not ready" Neha looked down in disappointment then looked up again and said "OK. your wish. take your time" and started doodling with her camera. I always wondered, Neha and her camera were made for each other. She was a master at clicking photographs. Her camera ( Nikon coolpix P100) would never fail her when she is shooting her way to glory. "Lets leave." she said.

Just as I was about to leave, someone slapped my back. so hard that it almost made the cracking noise." what the fuck!". I turned around to see and saw a girl half  my height standing in front of me. I looked at her. Trying to recognize her. Her teeth flashed brightly as she smiled at me and said "what man! you toh forgot me" I waited for Neha to reply  but instead she was looking at me. OK! I don't know this girl. Now staring at the girl in front of me, she looked at me and said... 

"you are in this college?"

"yes"

"oh! maine socha tu humare saath hai... tu woh building mein bahut aati thi naa". No offence but her voice was  screechy. she spoke as if she must have cried for more than 3 nights.

"haan. mein aati thi." 

"Arrey main teko kitna miss karti thi pata hai... mein sabko poochti thi.. isabel kidhar hai..? aur bata kaisi hai?"

what should I tell her? i don't know who she is...i gave a glance at Neha and she understood that there is something wrong.

"arre kuch bol " she became inquisitive

"haan... I'm fine. main iss college mein hoon. studying BMM

"oh! Nice huh" she said that in a tone as if i was in oxford.

"Acha maine tujhe mera no. diya tha.. phone karna mujhe... pata hai na.. mera no?"

"woh actually naya phone liya hai.. toh mera contact list ismein nahin hai... do one thing feed in your number and details i will call you back" i gave her the phone so that i wouldn't have to type her name.

Just then Neha said " hey listen! we have to go... its important i got radhika's sms.. lets leave.."

God! bless her soul.

" hey listen i have to go... will call you ok? bye"

"haan haan chal bye!

and we left and neha burst out laughing.

"who was she? " she asked excitedly.

I was so dumbfounded "i don't know" I said with a blank face

she took my phone and saw her name in the contacts 

and with a typical tone she announced 

"seeeeeelpaa" 

HE...

he came with a burning anguish,
his soul had died, was perished
his limits knew no bounds as he approaches her
he thinks no right,he is not just

he goes in time, and sees tht boy
he finds him in darkness,
he hears him cry
he is so numb yet alive
he grows into something
he didnt realize

here again, he sees her shiver
he cant be just, he cant be right
nothing was left to bring him back
nothing was left , nothing he had
he becomes the man, who was raged
and here again
she bathes in blood

FLY AWAY

changes are evident when they are too obvious.. not even you can hide it.. even if you lie to yourself..
at one point you are something what world desires and then.. you find yurself in the middle of no where.
Thinking of questions uve already answered come up again complicating things all the more.
vague thoughts capture ur mind.. leaving yu..mindless. and totally numb... "is this right ?" you ask yourself...there is a part of you wanting to speak up and then the ID EGO AND SUPERGO are at work...
you are left to decide between two right paths but then again.. why so sure abt it.. in all this mess...you are broken into peices and there are no clues left to join the thoughts...you are moving... walking somewhere distant.. looking at the sunset.. yur eyes begin to melt..all yur feelings come out and things become more clear.. water touches yur feet and yu smile to ur image..Coz thts wat yu are... yu leave all things behind to make a new start.. and say to yur self.."One day... i will FLY AWAY "

song in the background:Flightless Bird , American Mouth 

TRUST

I know a lot of times things become to much ... for us
the only time we shared... wasn't even complete without a fuss
lately you feel that " you're not one for me"
But i wont let... us go down the hill..

oh baby.... wait up for me...
i know its hard... to think of going far...
oh baby... wait up for me..
none of this pain is going to last
and all i want from you..
is trust me...

Its not a clear road .... a hazy drive ahead..
never always sure where to take the turn..
driving at the dead end.. losing control

I know there are problems which you cant just hide
haven't been around to give a comforting smile...
not everytime you find a person..
giving all the love all the emotions
i just wanna say you may or may not..
you will be the one whom i will love..

oh baby.... wait up for me...
i know its hard... to think of going far...
oh baby... wait up for me..
none of this pain is going to last
and all i want from you..
is trust me...